"Interesting points. I just want to clarify that I didn't mean that society gets all the blame in these scenarios. In my opinion, in some of these cases, there is a shared blame. Maybe referring to society as a whole was too much of a…"
I Power
Scientific Research & Self-Development Activism
Casual Sex
This is one thing most people do these days. Sex with people without being in a romantic relationship. One night stands, booty calls, fuck buddies, and other things that represent emotionless physical sexual encounters with people that are under the category of casual sex Socially this is glorified and try to justify casual sex so they can "Be better" within a real relationship in the future. Even though to me, I believe sex is meant for people with long term relationships, what is your view on casual sex? Do you do it yourself perhaps? Any good justifications for performing these actions?
Tags: casual, relationship, sex
Replies are closed for this discussion.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by z-man on -
I have one example of a player.
He could say that his wife is ok with it. BUT
And here comes the wierd part, he only calls during the working hours, he never calles on weekends or holidays. When he calls you will have sex. When you meet him at his house, his wife happens not to be there at that moment but next time you will meet for sure, so he says. You never go to his place he always comes to you or takes you to an hotel...
The hints are all there.
One thing I can tell you, a player has not evil master plan. He actually does not realize what he is doing,he is just selfish and because he is narcistic he has learned over the years how to act to pretedn to be caring to have the biggest chance of success. It is his behaviour that does the damage, he probably has no clue that he does hurt people because he has no feelings like most people do.. -
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Permalink Reply by z-man on
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I must correct myself a bit, I do believe that cheating itself is not really that bad as people would make you believe. Most people that cheat have no bad intention, it just happens and it is a real test for your relationship. It either breaks or makes it stronger. This is normal.
A player is something completely different, he is poisening the relationship on purpose so he gets all the attention and wants to win. He does not care about anyone's feeling. He does not care if you get hurt in the process or not. It is an actor! -
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Permalink Reply by sXe SeekerScorpio on -
Not really. Casual sex is under the category of short term relationships or in other words relationships that WILL NOT lead to marriage. You actually know each other, set boundaries for each other (wait till you're married or both graduated) and then had sex. Casual sex =/= premarital sex. From what you said, you're both in a long term relationship with each other.
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Permalink Reply by z-man on
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No this is not casual sex. ;-)
I cannot imagine having a relationship where there is no sex. :-) -
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Permalink Reply by z-man on
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Well actually I would be one of those fools :-)
I waited 4 years back then for a girl I was madly in love with. I refused sex with other girls because I wanted to give it to her so she would now that I cared so much about her. Yes you got the hint, I was still virgin :-)
Boy was I wrong! One day I saw her again and discovered that she had sex during that time with many others but stil refused to have sex with me. That triggered in me to have sex with the next girl that was interested in me. So I ended up having 3 one night stands in a few weeks.
For me blocking my passion was what I thought the best way to show that I loved her. Now I know that I was completely wrong. But don't get me wrong, with my next girlfriends I did get the lost time recovered. :-) -
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Permalink Reply by Agz on -
I think it was the girl that didnt see the value of what you done. I think you should have still waited until you came across the right girl, although its not an easy job waiting for so long, i believe its worth it.
Its good to save that Special gift for someone Special :D -
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Permalink Reply by z-man on
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Naaaaah, I would still be waiting for that special girl.
In the mean time I got many chances and I did meet very interesting partners that somehow we will have a bond for the rest of the world. -
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Permalink Reply by William Ng on -
the reason you want to find ways to justify this is because deep down you found guilty about having casual sex? for me i would feel enormous guilty if i dont find i like that girl at all. So what I would do not is to avoid to send out the wrong signals to the girls I am not interested in so we wouldn't even proceed to that point. If you know the difference of make love and have sex, you would prefer to make love to someone else instead of just bang her.
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Permalink Reply by Deborah on -
Very nice discussion. I placed an add for this when I was not in a relationship and wrote this very eloquent piece about why I needed comfort, what I needed, that I wanted to feel taken care of for a moment, that I wanted the exchange to be classy, that we didn't need to know each others names, that I wanted it to feel so free in that giving yourself to the fantasy way. That I wanted to be told in a sweet way that everything would be alright...while at the same time there was just a total flow of lust so that each person could feel real...mixed in with the "don't worry darlin, I'm going to take good care of you." I got five hundred replies in two days to this add...and not one person was rude...they were all beautiful letters I received...people saying that what I wrote was what they always wanted to feel. It was quite amazing. One man even wanted to take me to the Opera, dinner, and then a beautiful suite. It was quite amazing to see the amount of truth that came out of people. So I think that there are different ways one can approach this topic. Its all in how you say it...there can be emotions involved...you could even feel touched or grateful that some stranger was willing to open up enough - and you were both for a moment allowed to feel something that perhaps you might not achieve in a relationship. I may do an add again soon...and try a new theme...just to see how people responded...with this sense of relief was an amazing thing. You really got a feel for whats going on with people. Just some of my own thoughts on your very nice thread. :)
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Permalink Reply by z-man on
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Thank you Deborah, it is always interesting to hear the viewpoint from a female.
For a very long time I did stick to only have sex with the one you love, but I also have felt what it means to have no sex or physical contact for so many years because everyone did not want to go so far because I am their best friend. Nowadays I will sleep even with a (female) friend if I know that it makes her happy.
Something very interesting happens when you give someone that chance who has been single far to long and not had sex for so long. It makes them feel good and within a record time the suddenly get a new date and off they go. -
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