Scientific Research & Self-Development Activism
This is just for fun, really. I got the idea for this post out of some recent chat conversations about cultural icons of "macho" men; and I was also reminded of a post that I saw on the site several months ago by a young man who asked the question, "How do I know when I have become a man?" The responses that he received in that thread were all serious, of course; but I personally still found many of them to be humorous.
Now we would probably all agree that Chuck Norris is a "real" man...
But what other cultural & iconic influences can you think of that influence us all in deciding what a real man is? and what isn't? Many people think that gay men are not "real" men, for example.
And one of our members said to me that you're not a real man if you don't like pro-wrestling. lol
What do you guys think defines a real man?
Do you have to be muscular and lift weights? :-)
Is it ok to wear a dress?
What do you think it takes to be a "real" man?
Real men.. have a penis. That's basically all to it. What we do after birth is our choice (except for what we are attracted to).
Now what follows is more like a rant on men. I know that "The explanation for A-real-man is subjective. Everyone has there own idealism.". Here is mine:
Some of what our society said to be very masculine is not how a healthy full grown adult should live. (shutting off your emotions, swallowing proteins for muscles, drinking beer, having lots of relationships, having nice cars, having a dark tan)
I find those men more insecure than any other. They care just as much for there appearance as a girl. Guys tend to be very aggressive (emotionally overpowered thinking=>) and dumb around this subject. Unless they started to care less. Which is closer to a real man imo.
Real men don't care too much about there appearance (being clean and neat is enough).
Real men care for there flock (of people, like family).
Real men value health, equality and welfare.
Do you need to have chest hair?
In short, the only requirement to being a Real man is a set of male genitals that you came out of your mum with.
Everything else is just cultural idealism. Though I have personal standards of behavior that I expect out of my gender.
1. A man should always be a logical thinker, he should never let his lower emotions get the better of him.
2.A man should always be polite and good natured, even if the other person is being a prick.
3.A man should be a wall of strength for everyone around him. giving people with weaker temperments (Take a wild guess) someone to lean on in times of crises.
4. A man should always keep his word to the best of his ability and strive to do what is upright.
Pretty simple list I should think. Of course if someone were to allow someone else to smash their balls between two bricks and took that pain without even so much as a muscle twitch, I'd be willing to revise my definition a great bit to include them. XD
When I think of the term real men, somehow pictures of ancient warriors come to my mind.
Not those fashion-fanatics you find these days. Protecting their loved ones, working for their people, honest, strong, a goddamn moving fortress :D
But I don't think there is "the ideal man". (Except from me, I mean.)
This is an interesting discussion!
It made me question: aren't all men real, even the unreal men?
Those who aren't buffed, have no facial hair, that are insecure, that crave to be something else, and also those who correspond to whatever ideal image of men we have, all exist. They are all part of reality as it is, so they are all "real" men, aren't they?
Also, it's the common lot of many, I think most, to want to be different, better, more manly than they are. In times of doubt I can thus say "I'm insecure, I am such a real man!" :D
( insofar as I represent the condition of many men when I feel that way)
One a sidenote, I've met many women who were real men!
lmao @ "One a sidenote, I've met many women who were real men!"
So have I, Remy!!! hahaha
1) An adult male who 2) thinks of himself as an adult and acts accordingly and 3) identifies as male.
I'm not sure where to put transgender folks in this definition. For most intensive purposes, I have no trouble treating a trans person as the gender they identify with and thinking of them accordingly. However I do not think I could be attracted to a trans woman, knowing they had a penis (and other masculine features). I assume many women and gay men would feel similarly about trans men. Thus, it seems to me that in a way we cannot fully identify trans people as their chosen gender.
What do you folks think about the trans aspect? Does it confound this question?
A real man has a willy.
For me the term "real man" is a social concept of little value, and can be destructive in that it perverts the purpose of life to something of lesser importance. I think it particularly disappointing the level of social pressure that goes into this.
Instead of trying to be real men, perhaps we should try to be real people: