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Permalink Reply by Essah on August 22, 2011 at 10:18pm

what made you able to start believeing you were good enough and all that, seeing is i'm still struggeling with the exact same issues.

 

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Permalink Reply by Ryan H on August 25, 2011 at 4:38am

I found a new addition to making a distance to this situation. This works better in an authentic way other than my realization. I only say this because I'm doing it currently and it's tough, but knowing why it works helps me understand things alot better.

 

First of all here's a quote from my friend manimal when I asked him about judging and social anxiety and all that crap (basically) bad habits and junk:

"Here’s the basics: Stop judging, especially yourself, the judging mind is the culprit. Stop using negative affirmations, start using positive ones, you have things like social anxiety because you told yourself so until it became a belief and now you automatically remind yourself of your lack. Don’t confirm your laziness, confirm that you’re not lazy. The ”fake it til you make it”-method actually works decently. Stop rationalizing about problems, rational thinking is used for theories and nothing but theories, if you use it for other stuff it will cause problems. 

 

What you need to undertand that your identity is nothing but patterns of behavior and thought, they’re not permanent and they can be changed. The fact that you have these patterns are because they were forced on you by society. Get your own identity, you can be what you want to be."

 

Second here is my own added flavor to the mix:

 

Let your bad experience/feeling take hold, but don’t let it go any further than it already is by just dropping the relationship to the thought and stop the fixing of the problem process so as to not resist the experience/thought thus giving it less power and food. Like you know it’s there, but by just letting it flow harmoniously within you body it tricks your brain into thinking it’s not that important so it doesn’t store feeling with the situation.

This can happen at any given moment of the day and if your bad experiences/feelings are plentiful then you will have alot of conditioning to work with.

 

I could be wrong though, but I've been seeing instant results in just 24 hrs time with my dinner conversations, talking to old friends, new friends, and random people. Hope this helps.

 

If you try some of this stuff tell me how it goes. I wanna know if it's stable (it is for me) because I don't know if I should make a discussion about it. I want to, but don't know how many people it will hit home with. Anyways, I hope things work out for you Essah and sorry for the late reply :]

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