So I've been awkward and shy with confrontation for a while now. It affects my potential to progress myself. Well, I had an epiphany today. I don't know if all this self development somehow got my mind to put this together or not, but it definitely was a great realization. The reason why I'm shy and awkard sometimes (and don't feel as close to my friends as they do to me) is that I judge people. The reason I judge people is because I'm "dependent" on their validation of me because somewhere along the line in my life I started believing that I wasn't good enough. When I REALLY starting thinking about this and tried stopping to depend on people to make me happy or make me have a good time and start creating my own fun and humour that "I" truly thought was fun and happy it dawned upon me that these people weren't judgemental at all! They were just friends and potential family that were just being themselves to the fullest and wanted to be around people that made them feel unjudged and accepted of who they were. When I started not depending on other people to feel, and created all of it myself everything was so much more genuine and I felt comfortable in my own skin because it was ME that I was trying to make laugh on the inside and have fun and not other people, so they would give me feelings of joy, etc. I finally figured out how coexist with people and now I don't have to be so allusive. I just have to not be afraid to "truly" be myself. This all happened while I was waiting with some friends in the food court for some other friends. After I had that realization the rest of my day has been a blast, full of excitement that I haven't had in years. To some of you this may mean nothing, but to those of you who might be going through the same thing, I hope you find this useful to your issues. I'm off to mold my own reality :]

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Great post, my friend. I myself feel awkward at times. Shy is not something I've ever really been, but definitely awkward. Glad to see you can now progress after your revelation. I guess I need to figure out how not to be awkward, and after reading this, it's possible.

Great realization, Ryan!  ;-)

"I was just thinking that of all the trails in this life there is one that matters most. It is the trail of a true human being. I think you are on this trail and it is good to see."  -- Kicking Bird

From the movie: Dances With Wolves (1990)

great post :) I'm really happy for you

and I hope you succeed in developing this way of thinking :)

 

Great for you, I had the same problem when I joined I Power :)

@alexkilled I'm really interested in how you came out of that state and what you've turned out to become

Sorry for the late late answer.

I think I had quite some luck, it just happened that in my last year in high school I had a group of friends who didn't knew much about me. Before that there was always someone letting people know that I was "anti-social" and all that kind of stuff.

So, I just made great friends that year that made me realise that I'm as good as anyone else.

 

Unfortunately we went to different Universities which means we haven't seen each other again.

That summer I found I Power and all the videos the crew made a while back helped me out a lot.

 

The first step is always harder, after that things just flow normally. Now I'm studying in University which makes things even easier because you don't need a reason to talk to anyone, everyone is on the same boat there and most people are really cool.

 

I hope this helped and sorry again for taking so much time to answer.

you just found the first step in eliminating your ego :D

my recommendation is to look into this aspect of your personality and start working on it, there's a lot of good stuff about the ego here on ipower, look it up :)

Keep using the force young Jedi! :D

Awkwardness can also be born from inexperience.. I am (though this is a past tense story I guess) socially confident and my words and stuff don't let me down. But I was stood there in-front of a tree and had no idea what I was meant to do (there was someone leaning against the tree, don't worry :D) and so she was like "Awkward turtle". She literally had to coach me and explained a whole bunch of things to me about posture (that I already knew but wasn't keeping up) and how being indecisive can equate to awkwardness *due to inexperience* than trying to attain validation. 

 

You can't blanket anything when it comes to humans, we are so complex. Best solution to fix awkwardness --> Get out there and beast it up.

You put a smile on my face...glad to read about your experience! <3

@vanessa I'm glad that you have smiles on your face :]

what made you able to start believeing you were good enough and all that, seeing is i'm still struggeling with the exact same issues.

 

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