Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Max K. on February 25, 2012 at 12:45am

Wiki: A party is a gathering of people who have been invited by a host for the purposes of socializing, conversation, or recreation.

conversation, socializing? - lol more like 99% "recreation" 

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by March E. on February 25, 2012 at 7:26am

Yea, you're not the only one. I'm not much of a party person, too. I never really was. I've been to a few and I never really found it much fun or fulfilling. People just got to parties just to have fun. Unfortunately, I feel awkward and bored in a party full of people I probably won't be seeing again. I guess my idea of fun is a little different. It may just depend on what makes us tick or what we are interested in. Getting laid, getting drunk, and getting stoned, and small talk (even though I try) aren't really at the top of the list of things that I am interested in. Also, I don't like crowded places or being crowded by a bunch of people. So naturally, i'll be bored especially when it comes to small talk. But maybe I'm missing the point of parties. I just like to chill out in silence with plenty of space to think. Maybe I'm just boring :(

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Max K. on February 25, 2012 at 8:17am

Hmm, i actually don't mind being in crowd its just that for example a party i went to with a friend of mine (he also feels about all this the same way btw). People didn't have that much fun there, they where just starring at a screen chitchatting till they rolled a joint...i just feel that the whole reason for them to gather was to just get stoned and forget everything ..? that it? Party is to forget your everyday life together?

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Danface on February 25, 2012 at 9:21am

Don't drink, don't smoke... don't enjoy / attend parties / celebrations... poor base for analysis, will try anyway.

Drinking, smoking, cost money, cost health, wasteful? Maybe...

Many reasons;

Serve as escape, help perceive distance from hardship, from work, from 'everyday life'. Problem not drinking / smoking. Problem feeling need to separate, better solved accepting reality, altering, improving, not escaping.

Drinking / smoking stimulate personality, 'inner self', promote character, emotion, ability to communicate self. For most = strengthening ability to relate, to associate, easy friendship (despite poor subject matter).

Reason not to share positive view of parties? Dislike necessity for psychoactives? Maybe...

Dislike nature of joining, outside productive environment, lack of interest? Forced communication, banter, gossip, lack of interest?

Reason to share positive view?... Value social connection, relation, experience; emotion, bonding, attachment.

Like psychoactives; waste money, potential self-destruction, still enjoy experience.

'Peer pressure'?

"how do you survive without "real brain food" on pure none-alcoholic benefits?"

Change, learn to enjoy people, conversation, sharing.

Not necessary to live, necessary to enjoy social environment.

"how do i find someone i can hold conversation with that actually challenge my self, my knowledge and we share something worth sharing?"

'Worth', subjective, personal opinion.

Surround self with context of interest, people with conversation of 'worth' follow.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by SparTom007 - Tom on February 27, 2012 at 5:19am

You're obviously going to the wrong kinds of parties with the wrong kinds of people. A party is just for hanging out with lots of people, lots of whom are friends, some of whom are people you may want to meet and become friends with. I drink but I don't enjoy parties like the ones you described above. I see parties as an excuse to just go out and meet people, just like going to a club except it's in a more known environment and everyone will know someone there.

*I'm British so maybe this is a UK thing, I don't understand, even though I've seen it in films and on TV, the idea of the american house party.

For me, if I go to a party, I want to make new friends, talk about anything and everything, including more intellectually stimulating subjects believe it or not, and enjoy music or w/e entertainment with people there.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Taras Moskvichov on February 27, 2012 at 11:44am

Quite a time ago I had a phase in which I simply was curious whats this *party* thing is all about. So I decided to go all in. I got drunk, high, I took every chance to go to any party which took place around my town. After a while I realized that I don't like it all. I started to feel stupid by forcing myself to do something I never really liked. In a nutshell, this experience taught me that there is no perfect master plan of being happy or having fun. Its as diverse as humanity itself. If you are having good time reading a book or when you are happy having 5 good friends instead of 50 people you say hi once in a while, there is nothing wrong about you.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Focking Original on February 27, 2012 at 10:49pm

I don't like parties and I simply don't go.

Also the people who I can find in there, aren't my type of people anyway.

I don't like the taste of beer, wine or any other alcohol. I don't like the sensation of being drunk. I don't like loud music. I don't like feeling uncomfortable. I don't like people offering me drugs. I don't like random drunk chicks flirting with me. I don't like being there.

You get the point.. that's why I simply don't go.

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Mr. Bawaw on February 28, 2012 at 10:45pm

I don't smoke, barely drink it's pretty anti social to be honest. You can't do anything at a party, going to a bar with friends is just lame cuz your friends just get drink and then you're sitting there listening to there bullshit... well it's my sacrifice I guess, it's what I sacrifice for a healthy body and mind

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Max K. on February 28, 2012 at 10:58pm

yeh man, i understand you there. I usually if go out then go some concert type of club, where i atleast can watch something. 

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Max K. on February 28, 2012 at 11:01pm

So how do you be social when you are not mainstream social except sitting in front of PC, or going to lan parties? Join a cult? Masons or something? I guess you can also be that awkward random town center guy who likes to talk with group of strangers 

edit: @SparTom007 - Tom and yes man, i think going to right party is also a key ..themed parties like dressing up as something...usually are incredibly fun (for people like me) as we get extremely geeky about dressing up properly while others spend time preparing booze 

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Michael V. on February 29, 2012 at 1:19am

You can perfectly have fun without smoking or drinking ...
Socializing is fun right :-)

• ▶ Reply

Permalink Reply by Red Zeppelin on March 4, 2012 at 12:50am

I don't think you're alone on this one Max, I think that many people become disillusioned with the whole party scene.  Somewhere along the line socializing with people became equalized with getting trashed while others are nearby.  I think the issue is that society/media constructs this latter form of social contact as being the normal and in many ways superior form of socializing.  I'm in the same boat with you on this one, if you've been to one keg party you've been to every single one of them, and its tediously boring.  Our world is based upon division of labor and repetitiveness, and sometimes I feel like the repetitiveness of the party scene is an extension of this.  The week for an average individual is a cycle of waking up going to work, coming home watching TV and going to bed, then waking up going to work coming home back to bed again, on repeat.  What many people see the party scene as is a way to break that cycle something to mix up the work sleep eat pattern of life.  However I think just the opposite that the predictably and repetition of parties eventually becomes a part of this cycle of bland repetition. Our media obscures this fact but In my opinion its blatantly clear when you begin to analyze our society.

The more pressing question I guess is what can be done? Well in my opinion that is fairly easy, just don't buy into it.  Sure society may see parties like this as the ultimate form of social expression, but if you don't as I do then simply ignore them and find social contact elsewhere.  I can't speak on your situation particularly but finding out whats going on locally in your community (be it whatever you're interested in) and get involved in it, even taking the plunge to check out stuff that you may not have an immediate interest in.  I've personally found that when you meet people in those circumstances the conversation very quickly picks up from the basic 20 questions routine to becoming true conversation and dialogue (which is usually a result of the mutually interesting subject matter) as well as being far more natural.

Just my take on the issue. 

• ▶ Reply

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• Next ›
• Page