Before I got to this place a few years back, my life was pretty much shit. I quit my job which I hated from the bottom of my soul. Let's just say it involved working with a lot of people. I was lost and had absolutely no idea what to do with myself. It was a pretty rough time, as a few personal tragedies struck me right at that time. When bad things start to happen to you in life, they tend to do happen in a chain event of shit in your face. I guess it's life's way of saying:"either you're a pussy and will cry, or you will find the strength and move on". At least that's what I made of it in the end, thankfully. I can thank my dear friends and this site for helping me in that recovery.

Some of the things I found and read here have changed my whole view on certain things in life, things like self awareness, consciousness, and sociology in general. And naturally, if you come to this site, and stay, you are obviously interested in the brilliance of the "outside of the box thinking" and it's effects on your life and perception of things. You start thinking about people, their reactions, behaviors, why are people influencing you and how, and you start to form a picture inside your head. You connect all the things you learn,piece by piece, and you start to make your own ideas about the world. About reality itself, and your purpose in it's shaping. You start to see the hidden patterns in society, what drives people, what is their motivation. It's kind of like that feeling of Neo in the goddamn Matrix. And the more you know about these things, the more you are aware of how awesome that movie is, fuck yea.

Anyway, as I put the pieces in my life together, I found myself a way, I got my shit straight, got some goals, put them into motion. And it's been working wonders for me, I signed up for college, got into an IT course, fucking owned everything with style and finished first year. You could say I'm pretty much rolling right now. 

But the thing is, the more I learn, the more I know, the more frustrating it gets. At this point I'm really enraged with some of the things I see happening around me every goddamn day. 

The tipping point was probably an event that happened recently, and it's involving one of my close friends. His dad was diagnosed cancer a while back, and it's pretty bad, started with his lungs but has now spread. Things are looking pretty shitty, and while I'm thinking about this I remember my other friend whose mom also got stomach cancer which turned pretty bad, and in the end the awesome doctors cut out half of her body so she could live miserably for a few more months, lying in bed and not being able to eat because her stomach was cut out. And they actually said to my friend that there is nothing they can do and they kicked her out of the hospital. In the end she died, and our fine doctors helped her by cutting half of her body out. True story.

But back to my friend's dad, things are not looking bright. And the awesome doctors are helping him so you can assume what's waiting for him down the road. So I do a little research, and I find out about hemp oil, which allegedly actually cures cancer. And it's even confirmed by the US health dept. or whatever. And it's not even too expensive. Now I'm thinking to myself, it's probably a longshot, but hey, it beats being irradiated by chemotheraphy and getting your insides cut out. And so I suggest this to my friend, seeing as how there's little choice in the matter anymore, and worse case scenario it doesn't help and his dad dies anyway ( oh yeah and the doctors told them there's not much hope for his dad at this point ), and my friend says that there's absolutely no chance his dad would every try that. 

Now at this point, I'm in WHAT THE FUCK MODE, he is telling me that his dad would rather DIE than try fucking hemp oil which could MAYBE, JUST MAYBE, SAVE HIS GODDAMN LIFE? I was really pissed off about that, I can't believe that people actually think like that. If you can even call it thinking. Is it even possible that someone can be so narrow-minded to actually ignore the one thing which could possibly save them, even if it means death? Now, I'm not saying this fucking oil would magically heal him, but it sure beats the odds of the surviving with the fucking wonder doctors we have here in our shitty country. 

That was point number one. 

Second thing, and it relates to my friend's dad really fine. 

I look at the economic situation in my country which sucks big time, I look at the whole world and see the same thing. And today I watch that culture in decline video and yet again, I remember myself of the wonderful system we live in. What infuriates me the most is the fact that over the years I have tried talking about these things with numerous people, in real life, over the internet and so on. And everywhere I get the same fucking answer: the people don't want to know. THEY DON'T WANT TO KNOW.

My friend's dad doesn't want to know there's another way.

My college buddy doesn't give a shit about the financial system and the shit that's going on in the world, he's too occupied with getting drunk tonight. Not just one buddy, all of them.

My whole country is looking at the former prime minister who is on trial for high treason on the charges of stealing millions of euros from the country as he gets a month off from trial to go on a fucking vacation.

Fucking Americans vote democrat or republican.

A few more people die in Africa.

Kim Kardashian makes a new porno. BOOM

I'm guessing you start to see a pattern here, a pattern of a whole lot of shit.  

You know, I'm really starting to think are these people even worth the fucking effort. My job that I had mentioned in the start, well I used to work at a mobile phone shop for about 2 years, and I worked with about 100 people daily on average. That's a lot of people. Out of all those people, I would say that 10 percent of them were showing some signs of sentient intelligence. In the words of my former colleague from the job:"people are cattle". And I sure learned that.

So you see, there's a whole lot of idiots on this planet. Just look at the average life of an idiot: he will be born, shit his pants until he grows up, he will probably finish school, probably find a less-than-perfect mate, work, procreate, raise idiot kids, waste resources buying stupid shit he doesn't need, and die in the end, leaving behind his idiot progeny to continue the cycle. And guess what: he will never ask himself about the meaning of his pitiful existence. He will never stop to think about why the fuck is he doing the job he hates, why does he have a shitty life, and why does he buy stupid shit that he will throw away after 2 months. He will also vote because it's his civic duty, and it makes a difference. And he will believe in God of course, don't wanna piss him off.

But not everything is so bad, there are good people out there, rare, but still out there. 

People like Chiren and Reese, they are actually doing something, and I really admire that. But, I look at their videos, they have about 300-400k viewers per video, and out of all those people how many of them come to this site and stay? How many of them are interested in more than just games and boobs? 

I was reading a news announcement about how Athene joined up with ROOT, and people actually talk shit about him. And this is after he raised FUCKING 1 MILLION DOLLARS FOR KIDS IN AFRICA. Now, I understand that a lot of these posters are kids on the internet, but I mean honestly, they are probably the kids from that average idiot I talked about, so I don't think their future is too bright. 

There are smart people out there, but somehow it seems to me they just gave up on trying to help idiots who don't want to be helped. Instead, they just watch out for themselves, trying to make out of life as much as possible, some of them try do more, but either they get killed or they just give up because quite frankly, it seems pointless to me.

As the guy in the Culture video said, it's not the fault of the "people in power". It's our fault, we alone let this shit happen, we alone created this shitty society, and as far as I can tell people want things to stay this way. Nobody gives a shit, so I ask myself, and you people here on this wonderful site, should we even give a shit?

I believe I can do pretty well for myself in life, it's not too hard considering the people around me, and I can pretty much go through life not giving a shit about anything, thinking only about myself and securing my existence and the existence of the few people I care about. Why should I waste my time, energy and life trying to help people who don't want to be helped? I tried to look at the good in people, but honestly, there's so much shit in people there's not much left to look at. 

I dunno, maybe I'm just being bitter and subjective on the matter, maybe there's hope yet, however tiny it may be.