Scientific Research & Self-Development Activism
Bam! Good morning I Power!
A new week, a new day, perfect time for some action. Or, in this case, a new awesome topic.
This topic will be about the two most important decisions we make every single day, nearly every single minute. I’m talking about the decision to be awesome. The decision, to live a happy, fullfilling life.
What the hell man – how is that in any way a decision?
Let me start with an example. The same day, the same guy -2 different versions.
Ugh… it’s 6am, and that goddamn alarm still rings in my ear. It’s damn loud. I know that I have to get up for work. As if that wasn’t bad enough it has like.. minus 3000 degrees out there. Okay, so, I’ll get out of bed, to drink coffee, that tastes like piss, before I have to go out into freakin ice age. It will take me ages to get my car out of the ice and snow… oh the car, right. I have to get that thing to the car repair shop, before it falls apart, cappy piece of assembled metal that it is. Finally, when I arrive at work, I’ll have to do all the work I wasn’t able to do last week, and hell, I know, while I'm trying to get all that stuff done, new stuff will pile up. Whats the sense in all this? I’m working myself to death here, and the boss keeps yelling at me, stupid prick. Ugh… yeah. Work. What a great day. And when I’m home again, I’ll have to do the shopping, clean my room, and finish reading that one book. I won’t even have time to play some games and relax. What the hell man, fuck my life.
Whoa! Woke up just in time. That was some good sleep, I really do feel nice. Sad thing that I have to get out oft he warm bed, but hey, a new day, new possibilities. Let’s get this thing started! After a refreshing shower I take a look out of the window. Man, everything is covered in beautiful white. It sure must be cold out there. That will surely get my blood circulating, and my brain working at full speed, once I’m out there. Like a contrast shower, served by nature. I’ll be like a caveman, no snow and no ice will stop me! My awesome immune-system will simply shrug it off! Coffee doesn’t taste as good as usual, but at least it does it’s job. A lot of things to do today, but if I manage to get it all done today, I’ll have the whole next day to spend as I want to. That’s great. I mean, imagine: Lot’s of stuff to do at work, so it surely won’t get boring, and time will pass very fast. I know that I’m a good worker, so I don’t even care if the boss is angry again for some reason. Lol, sometimes I really ask myself, if that guy simply enjoys feeling miserable and shouting at others. Well, not everyone can be as awesome as me, hehe. So, to-do-list for today: Be awesome, get the car repaired, do the shopping, get work done, and then simply relax, because I know, I’ll have a perfect day tomorrow, due to all the things I managed to get done today. Isn’t it great?
See what I did there? :D
Being happy is a decision.
If you want to get into lucid dreaming, you have to make a habit out oft he question „Is what I am experiencing now the reality?“, so that you will be able to recognise when you are dreaming.
And if you want to get into a constant awesome mood, you have to make a habit out oft he question: „Do I really have to feel stressed, or bad about this, or is there some other way to think about it? It has no use to make myself miserable, as it changes nothing. Feeling good does. What the best way to think about this?“, so that you will be able to recognise when you caught yourself in some unneccessary negative thinking.
In times of sadness, anger, or simply stress we tend to get very reactional. And reactions to bad things are, most of the time, also bad. But if you allow yourself to think rationally about it, you’ll in any case come to the conclusion, that your negative thinking is your very own fault.
Now you might think, if it’s my own fault, how can that be a positive thing?
It’s the best thing that can happen. The things you have done or thought are the only things you have total control over, and thus a huge load of possibilities to change and improve them. Every mistake you recognise is a chance. Every bad thought can be turned into a positive one.
Every morning you have the choice, to either start a miserable day, full of stress, things you don’t want to do and full of annoying people that just freak you out, or to start an awesome adventure into a day full of great possibilities and chances.
It is your personal decision which path you take!
So – if you aren’t happy – ask yourself: Why have I chosen to be unhappy?
Great post, Bernhard. I also like the idea of how we all have choices in how we define ourselves. I mean, like the stuff that we commonly tell people in response those open-ended questions like, "Tell me about yourself?" & "What kind of person are you?" I used to respond to questions like that by saying things like, "Well, I'm a cynical asshole;" etc. But then one day I had one of those "light-bulb moments" where I stopped and asked myself Why I told people things like that about myself? Was I really like that? and even if I was, Why was I like that? Was it because something external to me had made me that way? or was I simply choosing to be that way? And I began to realize that, irregardless of the experiences that I have had in my life and the things that people had told me about myself in the past, that How I chose to respond to all of it was simply a personal choice. That I didn't have to accept the identity that other people occasionally tried to impose upon me; and I didn't have to accept the things that they thought about me. I didn't have to look in the mirror and tell myself that I was an asshole; or stupid; or a failure; or any number of other negative things. That the things I tell myself, (and others,) about me in defining "who I am" is always a choice! :-)
Now I'm not talking about going so far as lying and telling people that you're a jet pilot when you've never even flown in a plane; or of looking in the mirror and telling yourself that you're a great gymnast when you can't even do a good cartwheel. lol No. I'm talking about healthy attitudes and perspectives, and the realization that we can change ourselves and become the persons that we want to be any time we want to. :-)
There is a lot of power, for example, in telling yourself that you can do something, versus telling yourself that you can't. And you don't have to be lazy; or dumb; or an asshole; or any number of other negative things simply because someone might have told you that you were one of those things at some point in your past. You can be any kind of person you want to be! It's always a choice. :-)
Bernhard, thanks for posting this. I struggled with this for many years. My unhappiness was always the result of an external, out of my control other-my job, my lover, my family, my genetics. I felt trapped and began to act like a trapped animal-gnawing at what I perceived to be the fetters that held me back. I don't know exactly when I had the a-ha moment; but I realized that in struggling to please others and live up to their expectations I wasn't following my own bliss. I saw that instead of appreciating myself I was looking for validation through others. I was allowing them to define me-and in was constricting. I was placing the limitations on what I could or could not do. When I realized that I was so many other things besides what THEY perceived and more importantly what I wanted them to perceive, I let it all go. I embraced new 'roles',new personas, even; I experimented with different forms of creative expression, however outrageous they were, and enjoyed it. It was so empowering choosing to be what I wanted, however 'badly' I did it, because it was my choice. I removed the word 'can't' from my vocabulary (in my opinion the only four letter word that should be censored) and my perspective shifted radically-I can be this, I can do that. I wasn't defining myself by limits; I was defining myself by potential-and potential is limitless. Once I tackled things my sleeping self wouldn't have dreamt of, it was easier to choose to be free, to find me. Me was whatever I wanted to be.
And I was awake.
Great post. I like optimism. To get out of bed, I just think "I love my animals, they are dependant of me. So they need to be fed."
Just remember this. There is a limit to what people can take. I was raised to be optimistic, my problems stacked, until I fell in a deep depression. I felt like I had nobody to talk to (As I listened to peoples opinion on gay people to decide whether or not I should share my problems). My parents also thought they guarded me from a traumatic experience (<- not known at that time) I got at age 11, by not talking about my sister when I'm around.
That's why I chose to live optimistic, without a need for happiness. (You can ask yourself, what is real happiness? "this life is all right/good" or "this experience is awesome" ?)
Because sometimes things in life happen that aren't so awesome. Sometimes life isn't good. And if you have to show constant optimism to reality, it can be very tiring. In a way, it slowly sucked the life out of me. (My sister got a brain trauma and docters are afraid to give the wrong diagnose, so they said she can completely recover, or she can die. Turned out, she lost the ability to speak, walk, move arms, .. So we were hoping she'd completely recover for years, but lots of hope for nothing.)
"Without a need for happiness" might sound contradictory to optimism, but:
Anything bad I experience in life will teach me how not to do it. Anything good I experience, is more reason to be alive and to show respect at all the life around us.
to show constant optimism to reality, it can be very tiring.
Indeed. I can totally relate to that. Still, I think, optimism, even if forced, helped me way more than being pessimistic. No one can live with a constant good mood, everyone has a "breakdown" now and then, but with positive thinking you can keep those times very rare.
Good post Bernhard, the mindset is definitley essential to success, you must have a never quit attitude in this life.
I think, optimism, even if forced, helped me way more than being pessimistic.
I never said I chose to be pessimistic.
It eventually crawled over me. aka a depression.
but with positive thinking you can keep those times very rare.
In my view of life, those "breakdowns" aren't seen as a bad experience.
That's how people should think positively. Without neglecting there problems.
So you don't get breakdowns, but life experiences.
awesome wish i had an elektroshock band wich gives a shok to remind me to think positive.