I did this in class, i was sort of impressed with it so i thought i could share it here. I did originally write it in norwegian, some things might have been lost in translation. I couldn`t find the right word for what it is in english either. But the description is that it`s an ironic essay, a sort of mix between humor and reality. Google transelate called it a "chat" but i don`t know if that`s right.

Are we all Freddy friendless?

A chat about advertising, clothing and identity.

Do not save. You must not use your clothes until they are neglected.

Clothing must be replaced, often long before they fall apart. If you use the same old clothes, then I know you're not like me, nor like they, just one of them. For those who do not spend their time buying, changing and mixing clothing, they are communists and fascists. They would have preferred seeing us all in uniforms. But people like you and I, we are free, free to express ourselves through clothing.

Now we are six billion people on earth, and it can be difficult to keep track of. Therefore it is important that people express themselves with their clothing. Palestine scarfs, suits and Canada-shirts give much information. They let me know what I shall yell at you on the street, hipsters, snob or granddad!

Preferably I have already dressed myself in a manner that speaks for itself, so you can only look at me to know that I'm not like you, you're not like me. You should know that we are not the same, and that I am a little better than you.

There are still some things that are worse than you. The world is full of people who go into any store, and take the first and best thing they see. It is so poorly conceived and boring that they can not be called human anymore, just gray mice.

Clothes make a man it is said, so clothing should not be taken lightly. There's a lot to keep track of. Those who decide what`s fashion - the best of us - are also often those who make the clothes, they know a lot. The fashion gives us rules to follow, indications and guidelines, but fashion alone is not enough. For those involved with fashion, then it probably is, but they are a little better than me and need not concern themselves with as much trouble. You must remember to think of your friends and acquaintances. They must know that you are one of them.

In Norway, we learn that solidarity is important, so your people must know at first glance that you are part of them. You are they, and not someone else. But also in your circle, you must have some nuances.  The others must also get a hint that you are one of them, but you are the best of them. If are you hipster, you need to follow their magazines, and see whether you should go with a blue, red or gray Palestinian scarf. A snob has to choose between horizontal or vertical stripes. The granddad must know if he should wear a hat or not.

In addition, factors such as seasons, important events, celebrities you wish / wish not be confused with and which part of the world you are in. This may sound like a lot, at least for you. But help is there. There are many magazines that can help you, the authors of these magazines know the people making clothes well and know so much.

Did I say that there are many magazines that can help you? Sorry, my mistake. There are only a few that can help you! You have to find the magazine for you and those like you. The magazines are fragmented into several factions. You must find the appropriate magazine for your gender, your age, your social status and your financial situation. These are just a few of the things you need to look at, you must also ensure that this magazine is for those who are like you and not like them.

There is one thing I will elaborate, and it is economy. Start with the tax register, search up your friends. You must know what they earn, and choose clothes for it. You must state that you are on the same level as them, just a little higher. Your friends must see that you earn more than them, you're a little more important. Do not overdo this. Then you must change your group, this is not desirable for anyone.

To follow your own economy is good. Because it  always gets a little better, the same with your friends. Together you can follow a natural procession through your years, only to look back at old pictures and laugh. Then you looked ridiculous, you were something else, not like now, better. To look young, you do that by taking care of your skin and hair, clothes should always be replaced. One more thing, even if your economy does not improve, it must still looks like it is; if you wonder why, you might as well stop reading now.

Now I'll give you a chronological review of your life with clothes.

When life began, you were covered in blood, gore and turbidity. When you finally got clothes on, they were chosen by your parents, perhaps originally used by older siblings. Remember this time, then curse and swear that your children never have to go through the same.

The situation does not get better in your first years of school. This is a time when you have to endure a lot, not just having your parents choose your clothes. After hours of p.e, where everyone can see how much you sweat, how nasty you are, you are expected to appear nude in the locker room, a knight without armor.

But after rain comes sunshine. You'll get better at manipulating your parents. Everyone in the class will be able to see how good you are by observing your clothing. Keep an eye on your friends, you want to appear better, but go too far, and you will be marked as the spoiled brat that everyone just hangs out with because you have the coolest toys.

To treat the years in primary school right is important. They make the difference whether you are sitting on the couch with your mother every friday night looking at television, or if your iPhone is beeping constantly, even if you are out with your friends; and having had sex before high school gives you the additional prestige you need to succeed.

School gets harder after primary. Now you have made a choice, vocational or higher education. You are no longer a homogeneous mass of students with the same aspirations. This is the first time you really choose a group. You are young and free, there must be displayed a distance between your rebellious self and the parental stale and conservative attitudes. Do this right, and your group will know that you are one of them - trustworthy - and this network comes in handy when you later in life want gradually improve your personal economy.

Just a few years after this you move away from home, with separate your own apartment, your own money; freedom. You must let others see your freedom. They will know you are at the height of your existence and that you have the freedom to choose your own clothes. Your network from the school will notice this, they see that you are still trustworthy; job offers and party invitations will flow your way.

A few years later you get a girlfriend - pregnant - and own your own apartment. Now remember when you were young. Your children will not inherit their clothes and they will choose for themselves; as long as it`s the right choice. When you bring these kids in kindergarten, everyone will see which child you pick up. The child is impressively fashioned to be so young. The child receives expectations of greatness, also your own prestige rises.

This continues as long as the child is young. Although it has its opinion on clothes, you guide it. Everyone knows that you make the decisions, it`s your reputation that is at stake.

The child gets older, it moves away from home, you can be sure it will succeed, it's got that extra edge needed to survive. But just to be sure, some soft packages for Christmas to be sure won`t harm anyone.

Now you are free again and your environment must be reassessed. Look at your loved ones, is she still one of you? Is she one of the others is this the time to redeem yourself from her, time passes quickly, any new ladies must be found quickly.

The kids are out and you are free. You are at the height of your existence, this should be displayed for others.

Now you have gone full circle. With your honor intact you can retire and need not worry yourself about fashion. Fashion is for the living. You are no longer productive, now your kids take care of the society, you should just take care of yourself.

Rest citizen, the world doesn`t need you.