Scientific Research & Self-Development Activism
tl;dr of each paragraph below it if you only have time to scan :)
As you will probably predict if you've read my blog before, I didn't keep up with my last new project of writing my novella. I did for the first few days keep up my targets last week but when it got to last weekend and working again I didn't really have time unless I forced myself to stay up to write it but then I wouldn't have had a good sleep for work (my sleeping pattern is messed up enough already without me doing that) and then when I was back off for a few days I just thought it was best to focus on things I could do without putting extra pressure on myself- I have enough pressure coming down on me from things I can't control atm.
tl;dr stopped writing my novella (ofc)
I've felt considerably happier recently- I think I'm finally overcoming my depression. I've said this before because I'd though I'd gotten over it before but honestly, the way I've felt this past week I think this is the height of my "non-depression". When I was doing my charity work and not doing a "proper" job I felt happy and more fulfilled than ever but I was still constantly stressed, sleeping unwell and keeping up disgusting habits like eating lots of junk food, drinking lots of energy drinks and coffee and alcohol and, at one point, for some weeks, smoking cigarettes.
One strange way I think I've noticed I'm not as depressed is that I've been playing videogames again. It might be because I'm not at that point of depression where I can't even be bothered to do something I enjoy. It might also be because DmC is one of the most fun experiences I've had on my PC EVER! xD I've also been enjoying music a lot more and getting urges to learn drums as I was once long ago but will need a lot more money (luckily we actually have the space in our flat for drums because we can't afford much furniture lol)
tl;dr I'm not feeling depressed anymore! (again lol) started playing videogames again, getting urges to learn drums again (requires a lot more money)
From when I finished the last bottle of fizzy drinks we had over a week ago, I cut them out as completely as possible. Unfortunately I can't cut them out completely because at work (fast food restaurant) the only free drinks we can have are soft drinks on tap. Apart from that, I've been succeeding and finding it easy! I've gained some health benefit from this too! I used to suffer from acid reflux and heartburn quite regularly so took antacids for it but I haven't had any antacids for weeks!
tl;dr stopped drinking fizzy drinks, drinking lots more water, stopped needing regular antacids for heartburn!
As for looking for other work and voluntary positions as I said I would last week: I did it! Well, I started looking at least which is a start. I applied to 2 jobs recently and considering the usual rate of success (meaning go to interview stage) being 1/50 for average my age and my personal average being 1/20 (not being cocky, I'm just good at CVs and stuff and applying for jobs I know I could do) I outdid myself cos I got 1 interview! It's for an Admin Apprentice which is basically a paid on the job training job. It says temporary for one year and it would be probably near standard hours (ie 9-5 maybe less) but the pay would only be ~£170 a week which is more than I earn now but significantly less than minimum wage (they probably get away with it by taking some of your wages out as paying for your training which earns you qualifications). I'm also slightly worried about this because it might mean that the job is government grant paid- if so I'll probably be uneligible because I'm too old (government stops supporting apprentices after they are 20 which is why I've never applied before) however they usually say on the job description 16-19 only and this job didn't. If I get this it's a step on the ladder towards a proper job probably with a little more pay or at least gives me some extra skills so when looking for work I can apply for admin roles and not just crappy retail stuff (which I'm good and don't hate but there's no challenge or fulfilment or prospects to keep me going until I go to university in a few years). I also applied for a few volunteer positions: one was as an IT coach for Age UK- teaching old people to use computers for simple things like email, word processing and skype, one was for the Prince's Trust as a progression mentor- helping young people overcome difficulties faced when transitioning into adulthood from bad situations or just overcoming personal obstacles (very vague), one was for the Youth Ex-Offenders Team as a prevention mentor- to help young people who have been in prison (or equivalent) to get out of the cycle of offending, and one as a conservation volunteer doing stuff like cleaning beaches or planting trees. I called the Age UK one and they said the position had been filled but will let me know if anything comes up again in future, the Prince's Trust contact was on holiday and will call me when they get back, the Youth ex-offenders team called me to ask for more details and send me forms but I've yet to receive them and the conservation volunteer team emailed me to just call them on a day they are active and they'll see if they can get me a space on each day.
tl;dr Applied for 2 jobs and got interview for one of them as admin apprentice. Applied for 4 voluntary positions but nothing has come of them yet.
I shouted at the people I owe money to to stop harassing me last week, finally getting something sorted but they are going slow and still sending me default notices which I'm not sure if I can get waived because of the way they have treated me and my case- I see my debt advisor again this week. Also when I see him I'll see my life coach and I might stop going regularly and perhaps just arrange another appointment in a couple of months and I'll see how I'm doing. I'm also seeing a woman who helps people struggling to find work or education because of a bad situation that they can't control and she might be able to find something helpful for me to find work I actually want to do or a pathway to education I want that will be genuinely accreddited (as much as I appreciate online education- so far all courses I've looked at, even by proper universities have not been recognised so, considering the time they take, have been a lot of effort for little to no reward).
tl;dr getting debt sorted, seeing education/career advisor, cancelling regular life coaching appointments because I don't think I need them anymore
Thanks for the support here guys, it really does make a difference. Knowing someone is here to read your post kinda motivates you to do stuff so you have something to write about. Feel free to criticise me and poke me to do more ;D
As I just said in chat though, "it's a lot easier to post here when I'm not putting pressure on myself to post stuff", so don't expect constant posts like I said I would last time xD although we all knew that wouldn't last long. Don't feel like you're pressuring me if you do request or critique, part of getting over my depression from my life coach has been realising that I'm the only one who can put pressure on me.
Had work today, got work later, got work sunday night and then my interview Tuesday, seeing my advisors on Thursday and back in work on the weekend so I should find time to come on ipower even if I don't post, I usually read stuff ;P