Lost My Love, And With It My Motivation

So not to long ago me and my fiancee decided to break up. And since then i have been experiencing a lack of motivation. I cant quite find a  reason to continue with my school work and life goals. I was trying so hard before just so i would be able to give her a better life than she has, but now i cant really find a reason to finish my senior year. I'm thinking i should just get my GED and get it over with. Idk i feel weak for depending so much on someone but i loved her so much. I need to find a new reason...

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Comment by Adam Kubišta on November 1, 2011 at 10:05pm
what really always helps me is this 6 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icxJQSEcpqM needs, and anytime u fulfill them ur happy :)
Comment by SparTom007 - Tom on November 1, 2011 at 11:13pm

I was once in a seemingly hopeless situation like yourself. Nothing in the world seems worthwhile because everything seemed to have more purpose when you found that special someone. Before it didn't seem like you were unhappy, more the opposite, because you didn't care too much and enjoyed little things a little more. The problem then was you did nothing for anyone and more recently everything for someone and now you have no one to do anything for.

Now you will look for reasons and each time you see a reason you will put too much into something that isn't really worth it and feel even worse than before. After this you will be too wary of making this same mistake that you will pass up all goals to avoid disappointment in yourself and the goal.

To get out of this horrible cycle you need to realise that you were happy before because you did things for yourself whether you realise it or not. You are not weak for admitting you're weak right now and only your true friends will understand and help you. You don't want sympathy, you want help but everything you get will seem tainted with pity and you'll realise who the people who truly care are ones that just make you happy.

You need to start doing things for yourself. Realise that you will find someone new but don't look for her right now. Realise that finishing school to the best of your ability will be good for you in the future. You need to be secure financially to be happy and education will give you a better chance of that. Think of applying for college. It doesn't have to be the best one but choosing a subject you enjoy (not necessarily what you're good at) will help you discover what you want to do when you're older.

Realise what you enjoy by yourself, what you're good at and what you're bad at.

Make a list of these in three columns

Then put a line through anything that is more harmful than beneficial to your life. Things like playing video-games or watching TV aren't harmful as they don't really contribute in any way to your life. Things like drinking heavily (as in enough to make you sick/blackout/afoolofyourself) or smoking are bad habits. Look at this list and focus on one or 2 in each column and make designated time every single day in which you will focus on doing these things (not all at one time one after the other, if using 2 maybe alternate days or try alternating between things you're good at on one day, then on the other things you're bad at and reward yourself with things you enjoy). Examples of things to put are academic subjects (which may be in the enjoy category not just good/bad column), sports you play (I don't play any so if you don't, don't think you need to start), activities you do such as videogames, writing, reading, music etc.

 

Do MORE than what is considered necessary. Don't just do your maths (or anything else) homework if you enjoy it. Do exercises out your text book that your teacher might not have considered important as you don't have the exam and ask your teacher to help. Teachers start teaching because they enjoy passing on knowledge and won't be disinclined to help someone who is actually passionate about the subject as they might once have been.

If you like music, try learning an instrument, if you don't enjoy it then try a different one. Lessons are relatively cheap (compared to buying instruments) and give you a taste for an instrument so perhaps try a few lessons of different instruments and when you like one, buy the instrument and become self-taught.

If you need money, start looking for jobs, be persistent as it can take weeks. While you're looking, use what time you would be at work when you have a job to do voluntary work which is always available and easy to get into. It will also look great on your resume (CV).

 

Stop thinking about the past as it will only ever haunt you. You will one day thank your ex for the time you had together. Ignor

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