My experiences of therapy (from a life coach not a psychiatrist)(one solid train of thought)

I've not seen my therapist for a few weeks because the health centre I go to is closed for a couple of weeks around the holiday period and then she was fully booked the couple of weeks after it re-opened for new year. I go again on Thursday and I'm hoping I'll get some decent direction and input from someone I trust for reasons I don't even fully comprehend myself. It's strange how good it is to know you can truly open up to someone and just talk non stop about anything and everything without having to worry about how they feel about it or whether it's their turn to talk because you know it's their job to listen. It sounds selfish but I rationalise and justify their position with the simple fact that they want to do that, it's work to them, it's their job to make you feel better by listening. And I guess that's all it really is too- you talk and they listen to you. More than just listening like if you went to a friend for advice and you know they're waiting and you're waiting for that moment of input. Most of the ideas you come to yourself on how to help yourself, you just talk yourself into some sort of solution and they're there to stop you talking yourself out of it. I just realised how much I'm saying "yourself" but therapy is a self-centred process and that's probably why it seems to work. All the time away from that hour a week where I get to be completely selfish without being judged is the only time I get to do that. Maybe that's my problem and other people get time to do this regularly on their own but I personally consider the effects of my ideas and actions constantly- usually meaning I talk/think/act myself out of things- even if they would benefit me. Overall my experiences of therapy have been positive but I worry that I'm going to become dependent on that weekly session. I want to be able to think about myself without feeling guilty or worrying about the what-ifs too much.

New health improvement plan

I think I'm going to try something new... I'm going to slowly work in little things to get healthier all the time instead of making a huge shift. I've always known diets don't work and you need a whole "change of lifestyle" (the wording is stupid to me though) however this approach never works for me. I'm going to cut out certain things and then add certain things over time such as eating more fruit and veg every day or exercising more.

I've decided my first target will be to cut out soft drinks and alcohol altogether. I've already stopped drinking booze a couple of weeks ago since I had a particularly heavy night, had my first hangover and looked at my budget and realised that I could probably eat better food if I stopped drinking. I know teetotal is gonna be hard but it's probably for the best- it will help prevent long-term illnesses in future, like liver and pancreas problems, as well as helping me lose some weight (bought some scales recently and I weight 85Kg, at least about 10 more than I should weigh for my height).

So this first target in the plan is (once I've consumed the last of what I already own) to cut out soft drinks completely and only drink water. This will be hardest at work (fast food restaurant) where the only free drinks I can have are soft drinks.

After a month of this I'll move on to a new target like eat a piece of fruit as a snack every day.

Projects

I feel like someone will read this and think "do you ever not have a new project starting?" and the answer is no.

• I am going to restart NCUK. I don't know how yet but I will try my best to start writing and making videos.
• Another new project will be getting a new / another job (again). I need more money, I need this to survive, this will be a priority.
• I'm going to start studying physics again using my old physics textbook from when I went to university for a few weeks. I might make some videos or something of cool stuff I learn or just make videos of me teaching. Maybe someday when I can afford to go back I can mention this in my application or at least have related stuff to talk about. I doubt saying I worked shitty jobs for years and did nothing related to what I apply for in my free time will help me get in.
• I'm going to write a novel at some point. Finally going to put some of my ideas for stories or true stories or crazy dreams in a form I can share.

Thanks for reading guys. I hope you post more on the forums, ipower is the only intellectual stimulation I get nowadays.